don't kiss me

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nikita
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don't kiss me

Postby nikita » Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:18 pm

Hello,

Since because for no particular reason this part of the Eclectic English forum seems to be the most deserted, I assume that all guys who come sometimes to the website have quite good command of English.

Then I think I could start posting quite simple English jokes here. Everybody welcome to contribute.

Here is the very first contribution.

Oh, Sir! Please don't kiss me!
Oh, Sir! Please don't kiss!
Oh, Sir! Please don't!
Oh, Sir! Please do!
Oh, Sir! Please!
Oh, Sir!
Oh!

See you soon here! Take care!

Nikita Kovalyov
http://www.eclecticenglish.com/

...

Sergey Vakshul
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Postby Sergey Vakshul » Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:29 pm

:lol:

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nikita
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I love you.

Postby nikita » Fri Sep 17, 2004 9:49 pm

Hello Sergey!

I am glad you liked it. Here is another little joke for such a "starter" as you. :)

- I love you.
- I love you too.
- I love you three.

A little hint if case someone doesn't get it: two & too are pronounced the same in English.

Best regards,

Nikita Kovalyov
http://www.eclecticenglish.com/

...

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nikita
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deer joke

Postby nikita » Tue Sep 21, 2004 8:45 pm

Hello!

Yet another joke for you!

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
B: No idea.

Scroll down to see the hint. :)

Nikita Kovalyov
http://www.eclecticenglish.com/
Last edited by nikita on Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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nikita
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joke

Postby nikita » Tue Oct 05, 2004 6:00 pm

Hello there!

How about a little joke on Present Perfect Tense?


***************************

It was my husband's birthday yesterday and he said,
Take me somewhere I've never been before.
> So where did you take him?
Into the kitchen.

***************************


Have a nice day!

Nikita Kovalyov
http://www.eclecticenglish.com/

...

HyphenSpider

Postby HyphenSpider » Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:38 pm

:D Funny jokes :D

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nikita
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Re: funny jokes

Postby nikita » Fri Mar 24, 2006 5:32 pm

Hello,

I am glad you liked them.

Here is one more more you.

A motorist ran over an old's lady cat and killed it.
- I am very sorry, said the motorist. I'll replace your cat, of course.
- Very well, said the lady. But I hope you're good at catching mice.

:)

Nikita

Guest

Postby Guest » Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:41 pm

very good

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Urban Legend

Postby nikita » Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:55 pm

Hello,

I am glad you liked it. Here is a hard-luck story for you that was sent to me to one of my friends. I did a little search, and it seems to be pretty well-known. However, they say it is just another urban legend. Enjoy!

Megan Fry, 44 years old, is killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered onto a live firing, fake town, simulation. Seeing all the troopers walking slowly down the street Megan Fry had jumped out in front of them and yelled Boo! The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots between them, over 40 of them hitting the target. She just looked like a very real looking target, one of the troopers stated in his report.


It seems that the troopers did not get Megan’s joke at all. :)

Nikita

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Another joke

Postby luizfreitas » Sat Jul 01, 2006 4:32 am

An old woman asked her daughter.

Daughter, what´s the name of that old german man who always drives me crazy?

Alzheimer, gradma. Alzheimer.
Should you have questions that I could help with, feel free to get in touch. Luiz

saudi
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Postby saudi » Sat Jul 01, 2006 1:46 pm

Nice jokes guys! :lol:
Go Ahead...

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nikita
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Four animals for a woman

Postby nikita » Sat Jul 01, 2006 5:39 pm

Hello, there

I am glad you liked them. Here is a new one.

What four animals does a woman need in her life?

- a mink on her back
- a jaguar in the garage
- a tiger in her bed
- and a jackass to pay for it all !!!

Have a nice day! :)

Nikita

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God's retort

Postby nikita » Sat Jul 01, 2006 5:43 pm

Hello,

And yet one more joke.

A man is talking to God.

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."

Cheerio!

Nikita


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