joke

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huey

joke

Postby huey » Fri Aug 06, 2004 7:13 pm

Nikita Kovalyov posted this joke on Friday, August 06, 2004
I am not sure whether someone or me have ever posted the first joke or not. If anyone has, sorry for reposting.

***
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right".

Incidentally we heard the news yesterday. Bush strikes again!! Go figure out what language he speaks and then determine what he really mean? Enjoy and have nice weekend!

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we," Bush said.

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nikita
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Bushisms

Postby nikita » Mon Aug 09, 2004 10:07 am

Hello Huey!

Nice to see you here. I also loved your new Bushism very much. I heard from my friends that Bush laid another egg on public, but they didn't remember what exactly he had said.

I think I need to try to get my book of Bushisms back from Victor, who borrowed it a couple of weeks ago, and post something new.

Here are some more quotes for your collection:

"You've heard Al Gore say he invented the internet.
Well, if he was so smart, why do all the addresses begin with "W"?"

"I think we ought to raise the age at which juveniles can have a gun."

"... I've been talking to Vicente Fox, the new president of Mexico... I know him... to have gas and oil sent to U.S.... so we'll not depend on foreign oil..."

I have come across a very neat site with lots of Bushisms. Here is the link:
"GeorgeW. Bush, dubya for his hometown budies, and his bushisms"
http://www.bushisms.com/index1a.html

THE VERY LONG LIST OF BUSHISMS -
BEFORE W. WAS (!?) "ELECTED"
http://www.bushisms.com/index1a.html#List

I also stumbled on a funny link on the top-left of the home page of the Official Bushisms site:
THIS IS NOT A GEORGE W. BUSH WEB SITE - IF YOU WANT TO GO
TO HIS WEB SITE, TRY http://WWW.BUSHSUCKS.COM - IT'S SERIOUS! TRY IT!

Best regards,

Nikita
http://www.eclecticenglish.com/

...

Cokacalas

Jokes

Postby Cokacalas » Tue May 30, 2006 5:55 pm

Hi

- How many children has your uncle got now?
- I haven't seen him since yesterday. He had 25 or 30 then.
- I guess the stork is familiar with his house ?
- The stork was very careful at first. He'd fly over the house, land on the roof and bring them down the chimney. Now, he just yells down and says: "Come on and get them!"

:)

A revolutionary speaker was addressing a meeting of hostile audience. One woman, in an ugly mood, rose up and said, "If you were my husband, I would give you poison." And the speaker, with his ready wit, retorted, " My dear lady, if I were your husband I would take the poison."

:)


Bye

Cokacalas

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nikita
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Posts: 133
Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2004 10:52 pm
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telephone conversation

Postby nikita » Thu Jun 01, 2006 5:36 pm

Hello,

They have just sent me this joke. I really like it. It is a telephone conversation.

-Hello, are you there?
-Yes, who are you, please?
-Watt.
-What's your name?
-Watt's my name
-Yes, what is your name?
-My name is John Watt.
-John what?
-Yes.
-???????? I'll call you again.
-All right. Are you Jones?
-No, I'm Knott.
-Will you tell me your name then?
-Will Knott.
-Why not?
-My name's Knott.
-Not what?
-Not Watt, Knott!
-What........


Have a nice day!

Nikita



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