Funny Students' Mistakes

[nikita]

Well, as you may know the old website has a page on "Funny English Students' Mistakes". I haven't updated it for a while because I really want to have the new site up and running as soon as possible. But now I understand that I will take me at least a couple more month just to convert the old page.

Now there are two pages with Funny English Students' Mistakes. But all the time I receive new funny mistakes from my visitors. Here are a few of my latest acquisitions:

My girlfriend has a nice leg.
(from descriptive homework)

Let's have some toast.
(when pouring a bottle of wine)

He looked at her blue-blue eyes.

And now a really precious jewel in my collection:
The issue whether or not the companies should be compensated for protecting pubic values has not been resolved yet.

To be continued...

Nikita Kovalyov
http://www.eclecticenglish.com/

[nikita]

I have just remembered one more:

He has been smoking ten cigarettes since he came.

Nikita Kovalyov
http://www.eclecticenglish.com/

[nikita]

Hello,

Here is another funny mistake I have just recalled. I got a postcard from my student in English. It was very sweet, but the mistake was funny.

Nikita, I wish you were surrounded by nice and friendly people.

And yet one more. Someone who didn't pay enough attention to the verb patterns wrote in their progress test.

Please, stop to make this awful noise.

Have a nice day.

Nikita Kovalyov
http://www.eclecticenglish.com/

[nikita]

Hello,

Here are my latest acquisitions:

We're in New York. We're at the Radio City Music Hell. It's great.

Another classical mistake. Just another variation.

I am like a sandwich.

Actually, the last mistake reminded me of Shrek. You know: "I am like an onion" thing.

Have a good day.

Nikita Kovalyov
http://www.eclecticenlgish.com/

[nikita]

Hello,

Just a little amendment to the previous posting. There is not "I am like an onion" phrase in Shrek. Here is a part that I meant:

Shrek: Ogres are like onions.
Donkey: What, 'cause they stink?
Shrek: No...
Donkey: 'Cause they make people cry?
Shrek: No...!
Donkey: You mean if you leave them out they get brown and start growing little white hairs?
Shrek: Ogres are like onions. Donkey: They both smell?
Shrek: NO! They have LAYERS. There's more to us underneath. So, ogres are like onions.
Donkey: Yeah, but nobody LIKES onions!

Best regards,

Nikita Kovalyov
http://www.eclecticenlgish.com/

[nikita]

Hello,

One more funny mistake for you.

"This joke was very fanny."

Nikita Kovalyov
http://www.eclecticenglish.com/

[jim]

I like "Please stop to make this awful noise"...


I think this will be a nice site.

Did you see the ones at innocentenglish.com? They have a bunch there. Some aren't that funny but some are jewels... They also have a couple of quizzes and a chatbot but I haven't had time to check 'em out yet.

[nikita]

Hello,

I must say that innocentenglish.com is really good. I liked the site very much.

And here are some of my latest acquisitions. They are mostly the pronunciation mistakes the students made in class.

I visited my ankle. (Instead of "I visited my uncle.")

I have a think unit in my kitchen. (Instead of "I have a sink unit in my kitchen.")

She was wearing really nice high hills. (Instead of "She was wearing really nice high heels.)

To be continued. Stay tuned.

Nikita

[nikita]

Hello,

Here is one more funny mistake.

Only little people believe his stories. (Probably instead of “Very few people believe his stories.)

To be continued...

Nikita

[nikita]

Hello,

Here is a new one for you.

I can eat chopsticks. Can you?
(Instead of “I can eat with chopsticks. Can you?”)

Have a nice day.

Nikita

[nikita]

Hello,

Here are a few of my latest acquisitions from my Elementary group.

I sit on my computer a lot.
(Instead of "I work on my computer.")

A nurse looks at people in hospital. or A nurse looks for people in hospital.
(Instead of "A nurse looks after people in hospital.")

A journalist writes a newspaper.
(Instead of "a journalist writes for a newspaper.")

PS Actually, in English "to sit" usually means to sit on your buttocks on something.

Cheerio.

Nikita

[nikita]

Hello,

Here are two of my latest acquisitions. They are taken from REAL CVs (Am. resumes)!!!

Referees: available upon request.

Or even a better one!

Personal abilities: available upon request.

They say that interviewing theses guys was as funny as reading their CVs.

Okay, have a nice day and don’t forget to proofread your CV before you send it to anyone!

PS Just in case. CV stands for "curriculum vitae".

Nikita

[nikita]

Hello,

Here are a couple of new blunders. There aren’t that funny, though.

She lives with her boyfriends. (Instead of “She lives with her boyfriend).

She lives in Mississippi. (Instead of “She comes from Mississippi.”)

Have a good day!

Nikita

[nikita]

Hello,

Here is a new mistake for you.

I like spending my summer vacations on the sea shelf.

Instead of:

I like spending my summer vacations by the sea.

The student seems to have confused "shelf" and "shore".

Have a good day!

Nikita